It's 4:58 am April 25th, 2014. I woke up not to long ago with a lot on my mind, I couldn't sleep so I grabbed my laptop and Googled everything wedding photography. It's nothing out of the ordinary for me, I search things about wedding photography everyday. The reason for my temporary insomnia is self doubt, fear, and failure.
What if you can't make it? What if you really just suck at this? What if you never be half the man your Father is? Or see any of the success he's seen. All of these thoughts came racing through my head at 3:07 am. So I began to listen to them and began to feel worthless in a sense.
After watching my fourth episode of Friends I began to think some more. These thoughts we're more positive. If you couldn't make it you wouldn't have done the things you've done thus far, If you sucked at taking pictures then why do many people see so much potential in you? You're not meant to be your Father...you're you! , And more importantly your success is not his and his is not yours.
So with that being said I've decided that it's time to stop worrying so much about the future and live one day at time. There's nothing I can do about the future except hope I'm there to see it and do everything I can in the here and now to make sure I have a great one. As long as I have my Faith, my Family, and Photography everything else will fall into place. So here's to insomnia, self doubts, and brighter futures!
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The older she gets the funnier she is! When she's not watching Spongebob or eating her favorite food...white rice of all things, she's talking and asking why? I love my little niece. When I was a kid I used to hear kids in elementary school talk about their niece's or nephew's. When I got older I realized I wasn't going to get one for a very long time. Being that I only have one sister and she's younger than me, but on April 6th, 2010. I was blessed with my little Niece Leyona. Although I'm not anyone's father yet, she's shown me what it's like to have a child in your life that you actually care for. I can have the worst day in the world but when I come home and she runs up to me and ask how I am today, I can't say horrible with her smiling at me! Even though she can't read this I love you buddy and can't wait to watch you grow up! :)
I catch a lot of slack from industry friends and peers for shooting Nikon. As I always say Nikon choose me, I didn't choose it. Years ago at my day job a woman was selling a Nikon camera. At the time I was just starting out and had no clue what a professional or novice camera was. I just knew I wanted a camera. badly! The woman was selling the camera for $650. I didn't have the money, my girlfriend at the time went on craigslist and found the same camera in Williamsburg for $500. That afternoon I asked my Dad to take me to Williamsburg and I bought the camera. I shot everything from plants to soda cans I had around my room! (I'm a guy that lives by himself, what can I say i'm a little messy at times .) After I realized I sucked...and I do mean those pictures we're horrible! I went to the internet a read everything I could about using a DSLR in Manual Mode.
After the cruel realization of seeing that I was not by any means going to get hired to shoot anyone's wedding anytime soon, I took my little Nikon D3000 with me everywhere! I practiced aperture, shutter speed, and ISO...until I could finally shoot in manual mode. I really just want to thank that camera today, because without it I would have never learned anything I know today. So here's to Nikon!